


Cities in Dust

by niatlg



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character(s), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Strong Female Characters, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24378373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niatlg/pseuds/niatlg
Summary: My whole life has been full of lies or maybe I should rephrase that, my life is a complete lie. The signs were right in front of me this whole time, but I was too naive to even notice, because it was hard to believe that the people who I thought loved me the most would be capable of such thing, they all took advantage of me except for her. It was a rainy day and I was all alone far away from everyone, I never want to go back inside that hell specially not after that incident. What hurts me the most if the fact that he lied to me too, I trusted him with all my heart and I was willing to help him right now that everyone is not on his side, but he completely dismissed my feelings pushed me away and manipulated me. Now I'm too scared to face the only person who still loves me and who I trust the most, what if they're still mad at me. I can't face them now, I don't want to lose him either and right now no one is safe, not even me.
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader, Petra Ral/Reader
Kudos: 7





	1. Other Voices

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys before you begin to read, I just have a little message. I will be changing up some things, such as the point of view and add in some details to give more background of the mc's life and personality. The plot will remain the same, just that there will be some changes in names for some of the characters. I have also read the manga and will update little details so that it smoothly follows the aot story line. 
> 
> \- Thank you and enjoy :)

**Year 844-** **_1 year before the fall of Wall Rose_ **

_ Dear Diary,  _

_ For the past few weeks I’ve been having a series of strange dreams, I’m not exactly sure what they are or what they mean. Every time I wake up, I suddenly forget them but that feeling of suspense remains there. My older sister told me it could just be that I’m excited because it’ll be my birthday soon but to me that makes no sense, how can you link suspense to a birthday? I always keep a journal on my nightstand just in case if I do ever remember my dreams, so that I can write them down quickly and look back at them later. Really the only thing that I remember is a voice, I’m not sure what they’re telling me but for some reason it sounds like someone I’ve met before. It could be one of my neighbors, Marie and her husband Karl. I heard my mother tell my sister that he always comes home drunk late at night and his wife always screams at him. I think it’s her voice that I hear, but it still bothers me. I feel as if there is more to it, so I decided to ask my dad instead, he joked and said that it’s probably my grandmother trying to contact me from heaven but other than that the only thing he said is to not make such a big deal out of it and that I shouldn’t waste my time thinking about it. He’s probably right, but in full honesty part of me wants to find out what that voice wants from me even if it ends up being just another stupid dream.  _

  * _Yuri_



  
  


I woke up again sweaty and cold, I decided to check what time it was. It seemed dark out, the clock marked 3 in the morning, great, now I have to lay in bed for another 4 hours before anyone else wakes up. There’s nothing to do at this time, I can’t go over to Charlotte’s house because her family is definitely sleeping right now and if I wake up my stupid siste, she’s going to get mad at me, no worse, slap me in the face if I woke her up. I mean who could blame her, no one likes being woken up when you’re having a good dream. I decided to light up a candle and draw until it was time to get ready for the day. Quietly I took out a blank piece of paper and a pencil, and began to draw whatever I could think of. I settled for a tree, the more time I spent on it I began to realize I was drawing for a weirdly deformed tree. The light during this time definitely didn’t help, but I carried on because I didn’t feel like starting over. Before I knew dawn had arrived, I looked down and the drawing, it was pretty decent. For some final touches I decided to add someone to not make it seem so vague. I added a little girl and it looked as if she was going inside the dark opening the tree had. 

“ Yuri, are you awake?” I heard a voice call my name all of the sudden, I flinched, it felt as if I was having a small stroke. My sister walked into the room, she was wearing her nightgown and looked as if she had fallen off a building. 

“Oh it was you Helena, you scared me you should probably fix your hair it looks as if you haven’t showered in days, no offence” I said, obviously joking she then stuck her tongue out at me and left the room. I would say my sister and I get along pretty well, we always joke around with each other. The only reason we get along is because she’s 12 years older than me, she’s always acted like a second mother. Just recently we’ve begun to joke around with each other and try to create a more sisterly bond with me. My parents are merchants and have to travel often to different parts of the walls to sell goods, my grandmother used to take care of us up until her death. I was 4 when she died, I only hold a few brief memories of her. My father was devastated when she died, my grandfather died before my dad was even born. As for my mom her parents supposedly came from outside the walls, but that’s supposed to be a secret. Now don’t get me wrong I love my parents and admire them, but I’ve spent the majority of the time with my sister, there have been times where I have almost called her mom. That’s why I’m trying to make an effort to build a sibling type of bond with her, also my mother did not endure hours of labor only for me to call or consider my sister as a parent. My parents only stay home for 2 days of the week, other than that they are always working. Every time they come home, this man comes to our house and meets up with them. It’s been like this for the past few years, his name is Erwin Smith. He’s very nice, but he seems really tough and maintains a serious attitude all the time. Recently Erwin has brought along another strange man with him, if you thought Erwin seemed intimidating this guy is at another level. I heard my parents say that he’s in the scouts with Erwin, I think maybe that’s why he’s serious all the time being in the military requires a lot of discipline I guess. 

Today my parents came home again, this time they’re bringing along my aunt Eve. I haven’t seen her in a while, but I’m excited to have her over. My sister is in the kitchen cooking breakfast, while my mom is helping my dad fix the table. I decided to give my aunt the drawing, although I’m not too proud of it, she’s the type of person to frame it and put on the wall. Then I had an idea, maybe I should draw that Levi guy something. It seems as if he’s in the need of a good laugh or at least get a reaction out of him, my terrible drawings might get the job done. 

“Hey Yuri, breakfast is ready” my mom said, I had just realized I zoned out for a moment and then turned around and nodded at her. 

I walked down the stairs and began to eat, for the most part everyone was silent. It felt kind of awkward, my parents had just gotten back. They would usually have something to talk about, like crazy customers or maybe something they saw along the way home. I finally decided that I would be the one to talk. 

“Mom, did you bring me anything” I asked, my mom just glared at me, at that moment I knew that maybe that wasn’t the best thing to ask. 

“ Sorry Yuri, I’ve just had a lot in my mind these days, unfortunately I didn’t bring you anything this time but you didn’t tell me if you wanted anything in the first place” she then got up and put her dishes in the sink, my dad and sister followed afterward leaving me alone in the table. 

After I was done, I ran upstairs and began to brainstorm what I could possibly draw that would make Levi show a bit of emotion. Like I said I’m doing this for my own amusement. I grabbed some crayons and began my masterpiece, it ended up looking like something a five year old drew. It was two stick figures holding hands, it looked like those mothers day projects they made you do at school. Whatever just as long as it looked like something that I would not usually draw.

I began to wonder why my aunt was coming, after all my 10th birthday was only a few days ago so maybe she came down to give me a present. For the remainder of the day I went a couple blocks down and went over to Charlotte’s house. A few hours had passed and Helena came to pick me up, by now I’m pretty sure my aunt had arrived. Helena then began to tell me that Erwin and that Levi guy would also be coming over, I guess my plan could come into play right now. 

As I walked in, I saw my aunt sitting down on the couch talking to my mother. I ran and gave her a big hug, I really missed her. She might be the only aunt I have but she is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met so far. She handed me a beautifully wrapped box, I’m guessing that was my birthday present. I thanked her and ran upstairs to get the drawing I made for her, I needed to give it to her now. Then I came back down and gave it to her.

“ Look aunt Eve, I recently made this drawing and it made me think of you. I hope you like it” I smiled and handed it over. 

She then stared at it for a couple seconds, she seemed shocked to say the least it probably means she really liked it. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open, it’s almost as if she was at a loss of words. Was I really that good of a drawing? Maybe she really appreciated the kind gesture I made for her, after all she lived alone, maybe this is just what she needed to cheer up. 

“So what do you think, I’m not really sure what I was thinking when I drew it” She then got up and showed it to my dad, he also seemed to be shocked, definitely not the reaction I was expecting. Then they both excused themselves and left the room to talk about something. 

Then there was a knock on the door, my sister got up to let our guests in. I ran upstairs to get my new “present” for Levi. I couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw it, to be fair I didn’t really know who the man was. He was just some random stranger that Erwin had suddenly begun to bring along a couple months ago. To me it was weird, but I didn’t think much of it. It was probably some weird adult matter that I didn’t feel interested in. 

As I walked down I noticed all eyes were on me, everyone was already sitting down at the dining table. I'm guessing that they were waiting for me, my aunt and father seemed to have a very concerned look on their face, maybe they got in a fight again after all they are siblings and you can’t avoid that. 

“Sorry for making you guys wait. I went upstairs to get something” I said, my sister just smiled at me and then looked in Erwin's direction and smiled at him too, he then smiled and winked back at her. That was by far one of the weirdest sights in humanities history, I was definitely not expecting that from them, the more I thought about it the more grossed out I was. Dinner was awkward, I could feel the tension in the overall atmosphere and it was making me feel extremely uncomfortable. I then looked at Levi and he still had that serious look plastered on his face, I was debating whether this was a good time to give him his new “present”. I got up and grabbed it from the coffee table in the living room, hopefully this would distract everyone from all the silent chaos that was unfolding. 

“Look Levi, I drew something for you at school. I hope that you really liked it. I put so much effort into it” I said in a sarcastic tone, he then glanced over at me and I handed him the drawing. 

“ You know I really do appreciate you Levi, I hope that I can become a person like you when I grow up. You are my hero Levi” Again I emphasized on the sarcasm hoping it would catch on, unfortunately for me I sent out the wrong message at the time I didn’t know it I just thought I was fooling around and playing tricks and pranks like a regular ten year old. The long lasting impression that this left on Levi was definitely not part of my juvenile plan. For a moment his eyes lit up and he had a soft smile, I bursted into laughter but it seemed as if I was crying. 

Everyone looked at me and started asking if I was ok, I probably looked like a maniac. I then felt tears running down on my face from laughing too hard. I then hid behind my sister, and it got even worse from then on. 

“Yuri you don’t have to cry, that was very sweet of you sweetheart don’t be embarrassed it seems that he liked it, you don’t have to hide” My mother said, what did she mean by that I wasn’t crying I was laughing wasn’t that obvious to everyone. 

“ Sorry mom I just hit my leg on the chair and I feel that’s why I cried” I replied back, all eyes were on me again. Then it hit me, they probably interpreted this whole ordeal the wrong way. 

“It’s ok no need to backtrack now, you got your message across you are a very sweet girl this is just what Levi needed, right Levi '' Erwin said, he then looked at Levi and he nodded.

“Thanks kid, I appreciate it” The dark haired man said, he then patted my head. Sure I wanted a reaction from him but this is definitely not what I was expecting. Well at least I got a reaction from him, I tried not to think about it too much about it. I had just humiliated myself, took me a while for me to catch on. The rest of the evening was calm, my sister and Erwin had some kind of thing going on between each other, and I was praying that it was not what I thought it was. Now that I think about it, my sister has recently been talking about this guy that she likes, by that I thought she meant Joshua the baker’s son, but definitely not Erwin afterall he is a man not a guy. My suspicions rose when my sister excused herself to the restroom and Erwin had followed after, did my parents even know, did my aunt know, did Levi even know. I mean Erwin did not let the man out of his sight at all. But what really intrigued me was the bathroom, why would someone go meet up in the bathroom that’s just weird and also in my parents house that’s just really out of character for both of them. 

Finally time had come for them to leave, my aunt was obviously staying over. We said our goodbyes, I then headed over to bed. It had been a long and confusing night, hopefully tonight I can get proper rest. 

  
  


**Year 845-** **_1 week before the fall of Wall Maria_ **

_ Dear Diary,  _

_ Tomorrow will be my 11th birthday and I couldn’t be more excited. My parents won't be home for the next couple of days, so to cheer me up my sister has decided to throw me a birthday party and told me to invite all of my friends. Right now she’s out going to buy all the necessary supplies, I wonder if she’s getting me a present. Recently something has been on my mind, lately I’ve overheard my parents talk about going beyond the walls. Now don’t get me wrong I like living here, I have great friends and I haven’t had any problems so far but sometimes I just crave for more and I’m curious what does the outside world offer that we don’t have here. For that reason I’ve given a lot of consideration whether I should join the Cadet Corps and eventually join the Survey Corps, I heard Erwin and Levi are part of it too. Maybe I’ll ask them about it when they come over next time. It also seems that my sister has gotten even closer with Erwin, it still weirds me out, but she’s an adult and can make her own decisions but why go with Erwin out of all the people out there? Maybe he is the good man that I’m told he is, as long as they’re both happy with each other I don’t care. Charlotte got in a fight with Finn again, I’m not sure if I should invite Finn to my party. He is my friend but I don’t want them to fight again and ruin my party. I’m sure Helena can give me some advice, she is older and wise so she must know how to handle situations like these. That’s all I have for today, I’m hoping that everything goes well tomorrow.  _

  * _Yuri_



I woke up again this time around 1 am, it’s been 1 year and the nightmares just keep getting worse. For a while I thought that this would be a temporary situation, but boy was I wrong. Instead of hearing the voice of a woman, now I hear the voice of a man too. I’m not sure what they want from me, at this point I’ve given up in finding out on what it is. This has become a nightly ordeal. The only thing that's changed is I continue to hear the same phrase over and over again, the voices say ‘you must free her’, free who? 

The rest of the day went smoothly, I went over to Charlotte’s house and told her that she should make up with Finn or else I won't invite her to my birthday party. It’s annoying seeing those two fight all the time, what do they fight about anyways?

“Lottie, why can’t you just let Finn borrow your book? It's not that big of a deal he just wants to read it, there’s no harm in that” I said, looking down on her. It was a warm and sunny day, we were sitting on the cool concrete floor hoping it would relieve the warmth in our bodies. 

“Thanks for stating the obvious, he always asks for my things and takes such a long time to give them back that I've had enough. Why can’t he respect me for once” She replied, to be completely honest I didn’t really care about what problems they had between each other, all I wanted was for them to stop fighting for the silliest of things. After so much talk, I was finally able to convince Charlotte to go and make up with Finn. I wanted my birthday party to be perfect and they were not going to ruin that for me. 

After the two had made up, I headed back home. When I walked in, I saw Levi, Erwin and my sister talking in the living room. Those two had been coming over quite often, I wonder if it has to do with the fact that my sister is literally in love with Erwin. I waved at them and headed upstairs, I decided to read a little bit. Over the span of these past couple of months, Levi has started to gain my respect. He seems to be a little more open, and from what I’ve heard he’s a pretty strong soldier. I also want to be strong, and most of all independent, I would like to achieve that type of strength in the future and be like Levi or Erwin. I decided to take a nap, maybe I could have better rest this time and I had nothing to do at the moment. 

_ You must break the course, you need to free her and show her that she is not a slave, she can make decisions for her herself, show her that she is a human. Guide her, free the others too but most importantly free yourself. You must fight to win and to live, keep on fighting before the others catch on.  _

I then opened up my eyes, it was that dream again I guessed, unfortunately this time I wasn’t even able to remember a single word. I tried to go back to sleep again, I just wanted this never ending cycle of dreams to come to an end, I want to fall asleep knowing that I’ll wake up feeling fully rested. Maybe for my birthday I can wish for better sleep, maybe that will help solve the problem after all. 

**Year 845-** **_Two days before the fall of Wall Maria_ **

_ “Hey Yuri wake up” a soft voice whispered, I looked up and it was none other than my aunt. What was she doing here?  _

_ “What’s going on, did something happen?” I said, I looked over at my window and it was still nighttime, this was just like the time my uncle died, I was woken up in the middle of the night so something terrible must have happened.  _

_ “We have to go now, hurry up your parents are waiting outside make sure to not make any noise because your sister is still sleeping ok” she whispered back, I got up and put on a coat. I then headed outside where my parents were waiting for me. Something felt off but I couldn’t figure out what it was. We then started walking away from the house, there was a carriage waiting for us. That was certainly not what I had been expecting. We got on, the whole ride was silent, I wanted my questions answered but I figured that it wasn’t probably the right time for that.  _

_ We got off in a forest, needles to say things were beginning to take a weird turn, why were we here and why wasn’t my sister allowed to come. Could it be we were planning a surprise party for her, a prank or even a present? Everyone seemed to have a suspicious look on their face, I was not used to this.  _

_ “Sit down sweetheart, and stay still” my mother said, I followed orders and I sat down. My dad seemed to have a weird bag with him, were we going on a road trip?  _

_ “Ok now close your eyes, and don’t open them until I tell ok can you do that for me?” my aunt said calmly, again I did what they said and didn’t even think of questioning them.  _

_ My mom held my arm out, my eyes still closed. I heard my dad's footsteps reaching me and then I felt a sharp pain in my arm, I opened them and my dad was injecting some weird liquid into me, was I sick, maybe that’s what they were doing to me. This was definitely way off. _

_ “Dad, what are you doing this to, and why here? Can anyone explain what is going on, because this is not something that would normally happen” I said, I was not comfortable with this at all. They probably wanted me to get better soon, then I blanked out and suddenly the whole world went pitch black.  _

I woke up sweating and panting, it must have been another bad dream. I quickly dismissed it and looked out my window, it was day time. I was finally able to wake up at a decent time of the day, until I turned around and looked at my clock. It was 1 pm!!! How could this be, maybe after so many sleepless nights my body had enough and basically hibernated. It didn’t matter to me, I decided to get ready for the day, but something was bothering me, why did no one wake me up. Did they maybe forget or did they decide to let me sleep in for a little while, maybe I shouldn’t worry about that for now and focus on my day for now. 

As I was walking down the stairs I noticed my parents, again with those serious faces plastered on the faces. They have been acting weird for the last couple of days, I figure it’s stress from them having to constantly work and travel all over the place. 

“Listen, I know your dad and I just got back today but we’ll be leaving soon for work again tonight. I hope you guys understand” My mom said, I then looked at my sister. She didn’t have much of a reaction and just said ‘ok’. 

“So soon, I wish I could spend more time with you guys. Promise me that next week when you come back we’ll do something, ok?” I told my mom, she then gave a vague smile and with that my parents headed upstairs to get their necessary supplies and gear ready for the trip. Why would they think of leaving at night, maybe they wanted to avoid getting caught up with others. I then left it at that and didn’t question them any further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for reading. This is one of my first stories so please bear with me. In the near future I might change some things up if I ever change my style of writing. To give you guys some context, the main character Yuri turned 11 at the end of the chapter. He older sister is 23 and her parents are older than Erwin. In the near future I plan on adding some romance but not right now you'll have to wait some chapters for it to happen. I plan to update on a weekly basis if you guys were wondering. 
> 
> \- Nia


	2. Downfall

**Year 845-** **_The fall of Wall Maria_ **

Looking back on this day, I would have never thought of the series of events that would completely shake up humanity. For me it started off as a regular day, I was still having those nightmares so to me it was no surprise that I ended up waking up around 5 in the morning. My sister was already up too surprisingly, she was cooking up some breakfast for the two of us. The house felt empty, Helena wasn’t talking, she was mixing up the pancake batter as she soullessly stared at the window. Some people around town had mentioned that the survey corps would be going on an expedition. Despite knowing that Levi and Erwin could take pretty good care of themselves, there was always the possibility that they would be faced with death ; it just couldn’t be helped. 

If everything went according to plan, they were expected to be coming back later that afternoon so I figured she’d want to go and see Erwin and Levi come in. That was if they even survived the mission. During breakfast she seemed tense and out of it, but who could blame her, she obviously didn’t want her lover to be crushed into pieces by a titan. Then my sister made the decision of going into town after we finished our morning activities, maybe that could help her calm down and think about something else. She had a lot on her mind that day and the more she thought about it, the more stressed she got. 

As we were walking down the street, we were greeted by Finn and his mother. As a young boy, Finn was quite cheerful but was always a little more troublesome than the average child and dare I say a handful, I wonder how his parents dealt with him. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes, at the time he was around the same height as me. His mother was in her late 30s and stayed at home mostly, his father was a blacksmith. Mrs. Lorenz was a beautiful woman, Finn definitely hit the genetic lottery when he came out looking like his mom, on the other hand his father wasn’t quite the looker. He was a plain looking quiet man, he was in his early 40s and already had grey hairs. It was probably because Finn was causing so much trouble, no offense to Finn though. They were probably out doing some shopping too, so I convinced Helena that it would be best if we joined them. I was happy to see my friend after all we were kids and we wanted to fool around and have fun.

It took some time before Helena was able to calm down a little, despite that deep down inside she couldn’t help to think of the sight of Erwin’s dead body wrapped up in a white sheet, for her this was a constant worry but she couldn’t do anything about it; after all that was the job that Erwin had signed up for and he had to serve accordingly. Despite that, the overall atmosphere of the afternoon was calm, at the time I didn’t know it but that would be the last time that I truly felt peaceful and optimistic about my future. For once I was enjoying myself and I had the luxury of living a carefree life, it seemed as if all my worries had perished and it was just me, Finn and Helena we were unstoppable. If only it had stayed that way forever, I would sell my soul to the devil for me to be able to experience that once again. 

Later that afternoon, Helena and I headed over to see the survey corps enter. Needless to say I was excited, I was able to see all of the people who got to have a taste of the outside world. As a young child I had so many questions of the unknown and it didn't help that my parents 'secretly' talked about it often, sure it was terrifying to some but to me it intrigued me because only a few people knew the truth of the vast wonders beyond the walls and I felt it was necessary that I should be the one to get to the bottom of it. 

When the gates had opened for the soldiers to enter, civilians had quickly gathered up and crowded the streets only to see the faces of the traumatized men and women who had just lost their comrades to the titans enter. My sister frantically searched through the crowds, it was nearly impossible to see as there were people blocking our view. Helena also lacked in the height department, she was a little taller than Levi by like what? an inch but still this was making the situation a little more difficult. Finally she was able to get a good view and she spotted Erwin, I could feel the stress immediately leave her body. He gazed at our direction and gave us an effortless smile and then looked down, I could tell that the mission did not go as expected. Suddenly in the back carts full of bodies began to pour in, along with the sight of wounded soldiers whose faces screamed death. My heart sank, people began to question whether it was a good idea to send soldiers beyond the walls, it was practically titan territory. 

Part of me began to question whether it was a good idea if I should join the Survey Corps, was it worth risking my life to see the outside world? So many thoughts began to fill my head, I also didn’t want to cause Helena even more distress than what she was already experiencing. But I ignored it because deep down my gut kept telling me that I needed to be freed of these damn walls. On one occasion Levi had once mentioned to me how the air felt more clean and fresh outside the walls, I wanted to experience that for myself in the near future. 

We later headed back into town, and my sister decided to continue our shopping trip. By now Finn had already gone home with his mother, things were more fun around him but Helena was feeling a bit more cheerful so I carried along. Then I came up with an idea.

“Hey Helena, maybe we should try baking something ourselves that would be fun” I said, she then gave me a soft smile and said “Sure, we’ve never tried that before, but just know that it won’t turn out perfect in the first try” she assured me, I then laughed and smiled at her back. 

Helena was the type of person that always lit up a room with her smile. She truly was a charming woman indeed, part of me was jealous of her, almost everyone she met was captivated by her but who could blame them. Although it did comfort me when people told me I looked just like her, most people would try to deny it specially when it comes to your own sibling but it was different with her. I admired her, she did most of the housework while my parents were gone and she practically raised me. She dedicated most of her teenage years to acting as my own mother and not once did I see her complain about her precious time lost or take her anguish out on me. I know deep down inside she probably felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I wanted to repay her in the near future, when I got rich and successful. My dream was to get her a nice house in a small town and buy her all the clothes she wanted. 

Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to do that. I never knew how important she was to me until I lost her that day, everytime I replay that memory I always ask myself the same thing: what could I have done differently that would have saved her? Sometimes I wish it was her that lived instead of me, she was an angel on earth so why wasn’t she spared from her tragic death. She didn’t deserve to die that way, I wish I could go back in time and tell her how much I loved her and that I need her with me all the time. We could have gone with Erwin, who knows maybe they could have gotten married and we would have been able to find my parents. 

As we walked down the street we looked up into the sky, there was a moment of silence. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up too, out of nowhere this gigantic titan appeared, no one could believe their eyes. How could a titan bigger than the walls that were supposed to protect us exist. It kicked a hole in the wall causing a large wave of debris to fly, crushing many homes and people. I was stunned and stayed put for a moment, my reaction was delayed needless to say I was speechless. Why on earth would this happen now, everything seemed perfect up until this point, why were they ruining this beautiful day. Helena then pulled my hand and held on to it tightly, we began to run. Before we knew it titans began to pour in by the flocks, grabbing innocent people and eating them right in front of everyone. I began to grow even more anxious, my eyes could not believe the chaos that was currently unfolding at Shiganshina District. 

“Come on Yuri, we need to leave now!” Helena panicked, we began to run even faster this time. Everyone was hysterical but who could blame them. I began to tremble in fear and for a moment it seemed as if the world was spinning, but I continued to run. The titans had begun to pick up the pace and started heading towards our direction as there was a large crowd of people which they were attracted to, Helena seemed desperate to get us out of there.

“Yuri pick up the pace, we need to find Erwin ok, just hang on” She was panting, we were clearly running out of breath at this point, I was exhausted. An even bigger swarm of people began to fill the streets as they were desperate to get out of there. Before I knew it I trampled by a massive crowd and lost Helena, I was in trouble but I kept running. The best option was to keep going there was no stopping now, I began to scream and call for Helena hoping I could find her. 

“HELENA” I screamed, it was impossible for her to even hear me because everyone was making so much noise. I wasn’t about to give up though, I kept going. Helena had to be nearby maybe she was just ahead of me. 

Suddenly everyone began to turn in another direction, another titan began to approach us. And then I saw her, her eyes lit up the moment she saw me she began running towards me but it was too late. A man pushed her to the side trying to make way for himself so that he could get away even faster, Helena slowed down her pace a grave mistake. The titan saw this an opportunity to pick her up, she began to yelp and scream for help, there was no use and no one could help her. I watched as the titan ate her, for a moment my heart stopped and I stood there unable to move. This could not be happening to me right now, Helena began screaming for me to get away and finally she said that I needed to live. She was about to say something else but it was too late. 

Some soldiers from the Garrison grabbed me and began to run away. 

“Let me go! I need to save Helena please before it’s too late!” But it was no use by now Helena was long gone and I would never see her again, the thought of that terrified me but it wasn’t until months had passed when I realized the long term effect that it would have on me. 

I then looked at the figure who picked me up, it was a young soldier. He was trembling but he didn’t stop, the man ran for his life. At the moment I was pissed because I truly thought that I had the ability to save her but I was just a child, it took awhile for me to understand that it wasn’t my fault that she died, this could have happened to anyone it was just my luck. 

He then set me down, and said “You need to get far away from here, you hear me?” he explained I nodded my whole world had been turned upside down in a matter of seconds, I then thought about my parents, how could I explain to them that Helena was dead. I couldn’t think straight at this point, I began to break down in front of the soldier all he could do now was hug me. He then escorted me to a crowded boat. Many began to plead for their lives and asked if they could hop on but it was already full. The young soldiers couldn’t do anything, they had to follow orders. There was no going back anymore, who knew maybe my home had already been crushed. 

My next move was to look for my friends, maybe even my parents although they were most likely safe as they were last headed towards Wall Rose. I then found Finn, he was by himself and he seemed pissed. I walked toward his direction then I sat down next to the young boy and put my head against his shoulder.

“Finn,” I whispered to him, he then broke down in tears and started sobbing in my arms. By now I could only imagine the worst.

When he was finally able to compose himself, he then began to explain to me what happened to him as he was wiping the tears out of his face “My mom is gone '' there was a long pause afterwards, my heart sank. Finn was a mama’s boy so this was going to be really hard on him, I could understand his pain. 

The brunette then continued “my father abandoned upon seeing her dead body lying down on the pavement, she had been crushed by a boulder. I have no idea where he went, he’s probably never coming back if he’s not dead yet” he then began to break down for a second time. That bastard, he abandoned his own son. That was just sick and twisted, I could not imagine what it was like being abandoned, but I needed to be there for him. 

I then remembered, where is Charlotte? I began to scan every single face in the area in hopes of finding her, hopefully her parents survived too. After a minute of searching there was no trace of her, it was just Finn and I alone on this boat. There was no adult with us, no one was there to take care of us. Maybe my parents would come pick Finn and I up when we arrived wherever we were going and save us from this chaos. After I sat down, I then remembered glancing at a familiar face. Could it be? 

It was none other than Marian, she was another girl that lived a couple blocks down from my house. If I remember well, her mother worked as a seamstress. For a moment I felt jealous, she had her mother right by her side. But maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way, at least I was able to find an adult that I knew. Marian was a year younger than me, she had dark brown curly hair and freckles, she looked like a doll. Despite being younger than me, we got along pretty well. We weren’t that close with each other but it didn’t matter, I carefully ran over to her and gave her a hug. 

After we both broke free from the hug she then asked “Hey Yuri, I’m glad I was able to find you, glad to see a familiar face. Where’s your sister?” There was no need to answer her, one look at my eyes and they practically told the whole story. Marian then held my hand and hugged me again this time a little tighter and more sincere. 

**1 year later**

The next year we spent as refugees was a living hell, there was a food shortage due to the high flux of people. Fights were often common as people fought over food, everyone was desperate to survive. It was later announced that a group of adults would be needed to go back out and reconquer Wall Maria, along those needed was Marian’s mother. We were nervous because there was no guarantee she would come back alive, and we couldn’t be left alone. I was barely 12 years old and had barely started to have some common sense. Our prediction was correct as the woman never returned and it only made things more difficult, as far as we knew we were practically orphans, Marian was beyond devastated it took a big toll on the small girl. 

For months I patiently waited for my parents to come pick me up, I trusted them and was confident that they had survived, surely they weren’t capable of abandoning me. I lost hope after 6 months, it was hard for me to process the fact that they were dead. I couldn’t waste any time hoping that I would be rescued, Finn, Marian and I had to take care of each other and we didn’t have the luxury to worry about other things. maybe my parents were dead after all. I had to accept the fact that now I had no one left but Finn and Marian. Charlotte was someone else I hoped I would find, she couldn’t be dead right? She might have gone with some distant relatives or was stationed somewhere else, she was way too young to die. 

Eventually, Finn and I decided it would be best if we joined the Cadet Corps. We would have a better life, better meals would be offered and we would have a nice place to sleep in. Finn wanted to join the Military Police but I still wanted to join the Survey Corps despite my previous experiences with titans and also the fact that Erwin never came to look for me, or should I say Helena. What was driving this, was it my hatred towards titans or maybe the fact that I still wanted to experience the outside world and feel that fresh air. I was not the type of person to hold grudges for too long. Maybe I secretly wished to be reunited with Erwin and Levi, it had been a long time since I last saw them, what were they up to now?

My main concern was leaving Marian alone while Finn and I left to join the Cadet Corps, although we were of age now, she still had one more year left before she could join. But the real question was, did she even want to join? She insisted that she would be fine on her own, and that she would sign up for the 104th Cadet Corps.It made me feel uneasy leaving her behind, but she told us that she would make new friends and that we should get a head start and not wait another year for her. I hesitated, but Finn and I settled on leaving her. Both of us signed up as new recruits for the 103rd Cadet Corps. I had no idea what was ahead of me but I was excited, and worried about Marian, I began to regret coming to that decision, it was made on a whim and we barely gave it any thought. 

On our first day, Keith Shadis our instructor came out and gave probably one of the most intimidating speeches I’ve heard so far. He began with his new interrogation ritual that surely scared all cadets shitless. He skipped over me, Finn and a couple other people. I was able to spot Lucretia , Alice and Andrew; they were some of the kids that lived in my neighborhood. To be fair I didn’t really know them that well despite having lived near them for practically my whole life, but it felt good seeing some familiar faces. Shadis then finished the torture and we were all dismissed. 

A couple of hours later dinner time had finally arrived, Finn and I walked in and saw the lively faces of other young people talking and laughing. It had been a long time since I’d seen that many people laugh, Finn and I headed towards Andrew’s table since they were the only other people we knew, 

“ Hey guys it’s been a long time, I’m surprised you guys decided to join” I decided to begin and make a conversation with them, right now everyone was a stranger and I needed to make friends other than Finn. 

“ The same goes for you, honestly I’m glad to see some familiar faces here. How’s your first day going” Lucretia replied, she was the tallest out of the five, she had wavy blonde hair and dark green eyes. I never noticed how beautiful she was until I began to make a decent conversation with the trio, she’s still the same person I knew. Andrew was also tall, he had black hair and brown eyes; he looked older than most of us despite being the same age as me. Alice on the other hand looked younger than us, she wasn’t short or anything the redhead just had the same old babyface. 

“ It’s been pretty decent so far, I’m just glad that we were able to escape that hell show for now” I replied before sticking the bread in my mouth. God was it satisfying to finally have a proper meal of struggling to find food. Overall dinner was decent, we spent the rest of the evening talking with our other peers and getting to know everyone. We met this new girl Christine, she also looked a little more mature than the rest of us, she was around the same height as Finn. He had grown quite a lot actually in the past year. Still not as tall as Lucretia, she had her hair up in a braid and had dark brown hair and blue. Along with this guy named Kurt, he had long hair but kept his blonde hair up in a ponytail, he was also quite tall. We found out that they were also from Wall Maria but lived in another village near the forest. It felt nice having other people to talk to, for a while everything seemed calm and I was enjoying myself. I had made new friends, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Marian, I felt guilty. I wish she could experience this moment with us, but her time would come next year and with different people. I wonder who those lucky few could be. 

The following day we would begin our training, so I decided to head off to bed early in hopes of getting a good night’s sleep. It had been a while since I was able to sleep in a proper bed. Christine, Lucretia and Alice followed, they would be my bunk mates for the next 3 years. I changed into my nightgown and closed my eyes, praying that I would not have any nightmares especially since there are other people in the room sleeping. I wanted to avoid any embarrassment. 

_ “Eve your time has come now” my mother said, I looked at her confused what did she mean my time had come now. She then told me to get ready and that we would be leaving soon, where are we going? I wanted to protest but I was tired, it was late at night, my mom’s sister was waiting for us outside. I never really knew the woman, and my mom didn’t talk much about her.  _

_ So why was she here now and at this time of night, surprisingly my brother and his new wife were there too. Strange weren’t they supposed to take care of Helena, I thought that maybe one of my mom’s distant relatives had died. I mean it made sense unless there was another reason as to why we were meeting up at this time.  _

_ “We will be leaving soon, we’re going beyond the walls” My brother replied, what did they mean we were going beyond the walls that was one of the most absurd things that I had ever heard in my life.  _

_ “Mom are you crazy!! Can anyone tell me what is going on, I’m a grown woman not a little kid you know” I replied, no one replied back there was something going on but why did they not want to tell me.  _

_ “I’m sorry that you have to do this, but it is for the sake of our family and you must follow your aunt's footsteps too” My mom quietly said, follow what footsteps. I barely even know the woman and they’re throwing all of this bullshit at me.  _

I woke up, sweaty and cold again. I then looked around the room, it seemed everyone was still asleep. It was one of those strange dreams again, except this time I was able to remember it. I grabbed my journal and began to write down what occurred in my dream. The thing is, it felt more as a memory rather than a dream. My whole family was there, except for Helena. My guess is she was still pretty young at the time. This time my grandmother’s face seemed more clear, my aunt was much younger too. I can’t explain why but I feel as if I’ve been in a situation like that before. Whatever it’s just a dream, right now I have far more concerning things to worry about like my training. As long as I survive and do pretty decently for the next 3 years, that will be enough to get me to the Survey Corps. 

Finn on the other hand, has to put in a lot of effort, after all he wants to join the military police and in order to be offered a spot you must graduate in the top 10 of the class. I know he can do it, the boy certainly has the guts to do it. I haven’t seen him fight yet but I’m sure he’ll be able to pull through. As for the rest of the group they all had a similar plan too , so far I haven’t met anyone who’s interested in joining the Survey Corps. Maybe the reason why I want to join is because I practically have no one else left to care for me, and I feel like I’ll gain some sort of parental figure through Levi or Erwin. Right now I’m only 12 and I shouldn’t be overthinking about those types of topics. My main concern is to pull forward and make sure not to give up just yet.

**Year 848**

The past two years of training have been tremendous, it seems that this class has a lot of people interested in joining the Military Police than I anticipate so the competition is high. Marian joined 1 year ago, I’ve been able to see her around more often and watch out for her from a distance. It seems that she succeeded in making a new group of friends, she’s always hanging out with this girl named Mina Carolina. They seem to get along pretty well. There’s also this other girl she hangs out with too, her name is Krista Lenz she seems very cute and innocent she reminds me of Marian back in the day, it seems she grew up to be more confident. She has other friends too, however, I haven’t had the time to get to know them that well. Although she’s often mentioned a kid named Aaron I think that’s his name and this kid named John or Jean, I’m not very good with names, something I should work on. She’s always complaining about how annoying their bickering is, she said it looks like an old couple fighting. But I don’t think she means that in a good way. 

What interested me was that he is one of those few people that actually want to join the Survey Corps, finally I was not alone. I’m interested in knowing what his reasons are, maybe I’ll ask Marian if she can introduce me to him some time. It would be nice to get to know him. So far I could really care less about my progress so far as a cadet, of course I try my best all the time but I have no interest in coming in the top 10. As I had earlier mentioned there are a lot of people aiming for the military police, this has begun to cause tensions between my fellow cadets and I seriously don’t have the energy to get caught up into that. Finn just ignores it and he doesn't let it get to him, I truly admire him for maintaining a calm attitude all the time. After all we’ve been through he’s still the same guy except now he doesn’t behave like a brat. I can’t really say the same for me, I’m not the type of person to note any changes in me, but honestly I’m sure it’s the same for everyone else. Still, I usually rely on others to point that out. So far no one has said anything to me so I’m guessing that there is nothing to be concerned about. 

The other day, I saw Marian hanging out with that girl Krista and that nice boy named Armin. I decided that now would be a good time to ask about Eren, I had finally gotten his name right. I walked towards their direction and saw a raven haired girl join them alongside Eren. Perfect timing I thought to myself. 

“Hey guys” I waved at them, Armin, Krista and Marian wave back while the other said their hellos. 

Not gonna lie if I didn’t know anything about the two blondes, I would have guessed that they were twins or related to each other.

“So I heard that you also want to join the Survey Corps, Eren?” I said not sure if I was saying the name correctly. 

“Yes it’s Eren, how did you know that?” He asked, his fights with that horse boy were the talk of the Cadet Corps, never seen them actually fight but it sure seems like an interesting view. 

“Well Marian and Krista mentioned it to me at some point, I was just asking because I’m also interested in joining. I was just curious as to why you wanted to join, I don’t know that many people who genuinely plan to serve there” you replied to the younger boy, my guess is that he was also 13 like Marian. He looked at me passionately and then said “ The day that Shiganshina District was attacked, I lost everything, including my dear mother. A titan came up and took her life, there was nothing I could do at the time but I swore that I would get revenge on every single titan ever since that day” Eren seemed to have gotten pretty riled up just from saying that, so basically what drove him was hate. To be honest, although I saw my sister get eaten right in front of me I never really built up that much anger within me but I couldn’t blame the boy. For months I was depressed, I mean who wouldn’t but that Eren kid had a different perspective from me, but I respected that, I guess I would also like to avenge the lives of those who were killed by titans. 

“Interesting, I’ve never heard a point of view like that” I replied to him and gave him a soft smile, everyone had some sort of trauma here to be completely honest. The others seemed shocked, no one had actually been that understanding in the past. 

“And what about you. Why do you want to join the Survey Corps” He asked me, this was getting interesting. Eren had never met someone who was willing to join like him. 

“My parents used to be friends with some men who served in the Survey Corps, Commander Erwin Smith and this other guy named Levi. The men talked about the expeditions that they went on and I began to grow interested in their job, Levi always said how fresh the air outside the walls was. I just want to experience that for myself and also know what’s beyond the walls, see what new exciting things are out there” I replied back, then I realised other people began to join in on the conversation. Out of nowhere this kid asked “Wait are you referring to Captain Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest soldier?” I paused for a second, what exactly did she mean by that, maybe I should be paying attention to what happens outside of camp. Needless to say I was shocked, Captain Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest soldier ? So he got a promotion huh, Has it really been that long since I last saw them. 

For a while, I thought that Erwin would make an effort to at least look for me. I was disappointed when I stopped hearing from him, but at the end of the day he wasn’t obliged to look after me. He had an important job to do and I would get in the way, also it’s not as if I was that close to him anyway, sure I had known him for years but to me he was either just Helena’s boyfriend or that random guy my dad brought over. It was weird to me that my parents were friends with him, he was a couple of years younger than them but as a child you’re used to being friends with people around your age, I guess it’s different with adults. 

I then replied to the girl, “ I guess so, I don’t know it’s been 3 years since I last saw them who knows what they’re up to now” then one of the instructors yelled at us and told us to get back to our training. 

One of my goals during my time at the Cadet Corps is to master the use of the 3D maneuvering gear, which would be an essential if I were to be in the Survey Corps. I would say I’m pretty decent at it, Finn and Christine keep telling me that I’m really good but maybe it seems that way because maybe they’re bad in general. (JK)

We had our monthly progress reports, too and each time it was posted crowds would build up around it. Everyone was anxious to see who was in the top ten, honestly as long I wasn’t in the bottom ranks I would be fine but other than that I never really bothered to check. Now Finn was a completely different story, he would be one of the first people to line up and look up his name. But I guess he had reason to do it, he had to achieve his goal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think of this chapter? I'm not sure if the story is going too fast, would you guys like it if I put more emphasis on her training days? Let me know if you guys are interested or find it relevant. I'm not going to put that much emphasis on the main characters appearance because everyone has a different perception of how the picture other characters, so feel free to picture her any way you want to. Next chapter there will be some Levi so definitely look forward to that. MC will be turning 15 soon if you guys were wondering. My plan is to develop a strong relationship in the year that she isn't with the 104th cadets, so Levi fans this is for you. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. ( If you catch any spelling or grammar errors let me know, I would really appreciate it but for the most part I'm constantly checking)
> 
> -Nia


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